as opposed to my last entry, i've gained some steam lately. even while recovering from surgery (𖦹﹏𖦹;)

i've had lots and looots of fun studying the old uLilith and WinAmp skins and their styling, probably the most fun i've had coding in a while. that's the sort of look i want to go for on my index, i think. i still like the current design that looks like more of a magazine, but i'm much more of a fan of older web/software. i far prefer compact, sharper designs. it scratches my brain just right, as much as i do also like big and bubbly designs too.

let's see...what else, what else...classes are back in session, but i'm doing them mostly online this semester. so, even with being busier, i'm still a hermit. i'll be fully completed with my degree by about this time next year. i suppose life is picking up, but it hardly feels that way. feels like i'm just dicking around as always ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

as the subject says, i dont have much in particular to say. i have kind of lost my motivation with this place just a little bit. i started out with a lot of steam and then lost it just as quickly, which is not at all outside my usual pattern. it happens to me a lot. it doesnt help, too, that a lot of my issues i had with my old site are bleeding into this one. it seems the second you get an ounce of popularity on this place weird people find their way to you. it makes me nostalgic for the old internet - there wasn't nearly as much of this weird parasocialness around. and it's not at all unique to neocities, it happens on just about any social platform.

anyway, on a positive note, my boyfriend is visiting! (♡ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) he's quite a handsome and doting guy, plus very patient with me (which is very necessary...). we've been dating for just shy of 2 years, i think we are probably just going to go ahead and get engaged on this visit. he looks a lot like a cross between a younger Brad Pitt and Lucas Till. i can't possibly let him back on the market...hehe.

lastly, i mentioned it on my profile page, but there will be 2 new casino games out on August 1st. i only need to create the graphics for them, they're actually already done code-wise. they may just end up needing a placeholder icon, though, i don't know if i can finish them. i'm not terribly artistically inclined myself.

as of today it has been exactly one month since i passed all my finals, and it's only just now occurred to me that maybe i should put out another review or buff up my casino - lol. my semesters have all been exactly the same: pour all of my energy into my homework/activities/projects and the midterm, and then i laze about around finals. does anyone else do that? i basically just try to guarantee that i get a 100% for 50-75% of my grade (however much the midterm + homeworks are worth), so that i dont have to worry about finals so much. during my absolutely most depressed of moments ive even skipped a couple of finals, needlessly dropping those grades from a 100 to about a 75. thankfully, someone like me isn't built for working, so i just plan to get married and have babies soon. i just want to have a degree as a back-up plan. now, does anyone else on the planet do that...?

oh, also, completely unrelated - ive had a song stuck in my head all day that pisses me off. pop star by coco & clair. i already hate the sounds of people whispering, so i hate the way it's sung regardless, but that one lyric "popstar, but i'm your boyfriend's favorite DJ"...why do so many songs glorify the stealing of boyfriends/girlfriends? is anyone actually proud of that? it's so lame. maybe it's stupid, but i vehemently avoid songs that sing about things that bother me. for that reason Jolene by dolly parton and the weekend by SZA are also unlistenable to me. i haaate the cuck shit in music i HATE songs about cheating i HATE songs about stealing boyfriends i HATE songs about being a sidechick. so unlistenable!!

lol i only finished one series over my break, i took most the time to sleep. i've been back in classes for this week and i already can't wait for the semester to be over. i have a nice hefty little 3 month break when this semester is over, i don't need to take any summer classes since everything i need to take now is capstone. almost done with my engineering degree! aren't you proud of me?

not gonna lie, i've always been so bad at studying. i barely even do. i dick around or skip class until 2 days before the exam, whereupon i just cram everything inside my brain. it's almost kind of better that way? it makes things stick freshly. i don't really know how i do it, though, it's all complex/discrete math at this point.

anyway, in my free time i've been trying to make the on-site casino a bit better. it's fun - but frustrating. the past week i've had to deal with someone cheating points (like, seriously? i have 50 followers. do you want to be on my index that badly?) and it's just made tons of things break in my efforts to tighten up the security a little bit. honestly, if this site ever got popular i'd probably just have to kiss it goodbye as a whole. i'm in no mood to pay to host a .js server to implement better security. i suppose i could make it approval-only, but where's the fun in that? i want folks to be able to play freely .·°՞(⋟﹏⋞)°·.

i've narrowed down which series i'm going to focus on during my spring break - hen zemi, school days, serial experiments lain, and - if time allows - i'll get to a couple short VNS (saya no uta, phenomeno). i've picked these series because all the anime are ~12 episodes long, and both games take about 3-4 hours a piece to complete. even during my break i will be a bit strapped for time, i will unfortunately still have things i need to work on, so that's why i'm only aiming for a few short series.

i will say, i'm excited to rewatch school days. i last watched it in highschool when i was about 16, so, i wonder if i'll still think it's as good as i did back then. my guess is: probably not. i tried to do the same with elfen lied a few years ago; i loved it in highschool, and realized it was sort of garbage on rewatch. iconic only during it's glory days. the first few episodes of elfen lied are still pretty awesome even when i did rewatch it after so many years, but it is admittedly a pretty corny series and (in my opinion) it lost its direction pretty fast. a lot of it is simply just edginess for the sake of being edgy. i feel like higurashi did that sort of trope pretty well. it was incredibly edgy, but the story was interesting enough to keep you hooked. it wasn't all just cheap shock value.

gambling has begun on my site under /casino! i'm really enjoying it so far, and i didn't think my friends would get so into it either

i accidentally made the odds way too high initially and everyone was easily able to get scores in the trillions, lol。the logic is more unfair now, as you would expect of a scamming casino. still, it's not impossible either, for instance pachinko is the easiest way to just sit and slowly grow your money.

i like that system personally - i want it to be possible to grind up and get a bunch of money, but just as easy to randomly lose it all if you bet big.

spring break is coming up! i'm thinking of watching a short series or playing a short VN so i can have a couple of reviews up。

i am a little unsure on the best way to do my reviews - objectively? scoring based entirely on my own taste? ┐(‘～`;)┌ for instance i've liked plenty of media that i'm fully aware are low quality, and i've also disliked media that i can tell would be enjoyable for most people。

happy valentine's day, everyone! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

i spent the day with my boyfriend, it was pretty nice! we got each other some cards filled with heart-felt words and memories。

today, i'm ignoring my studying and work that i should be doing。 i'm working a lot on this site, even though it won't really have proper content for a while。